Wondering what an open relationship is all about? Once considered a taboo subject, open relationships are gradually gaining visibility and acceptance in today’s culture. From celebrities sharing their unconventional love stories to increased representation in the media, consensual non-monogamy is becoming a topic of curiosity and exploration for many.

But how do you know if an open relationship is right for you?

A relationship structure should be a free choice, not something you accept to avoid pressure or losing a partner. People have different needs and boundaries. No single arrangement is right for everyone.

Consent needs to be clear and ongoing. Discuss what each person is comfortable with, how you will handle concerns, and whether either of you feels pressured.

Use the questions in this guide to discuss expectations and boundaries. You can decide not to pursue an open arrangement, or revisit a decision when your needs change.

Empathy Health Clinic offers therapy for adults. If you would like help discussing relationship concerns, request therapy or counseling.

What Is an Open Relationship?

Let's clarify what we mean by "open relationship" for today's discussion. Remember, the most important thing is for you and your partner to define it for yourselves. Broadly, healthy open relationships involve a mutual agreement that one or both partners can have sex, and sometimes "do more", with people outside the relationship.

A person practicing mindfulness meditation

An open relationship, also known as a non-exclusive relationship, is a form of consensual non-monogamy where both partners agree that one or both can pursue connections—typically sexual—with other people while maintaining their primary relationship.

Unlike cheating, which relies on secrecy and betrayal, open relationships are founded on mutual consent, honesty, and transparency.

Key principles that define an open relationship include:

Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM): This is the foundation. Every person involved must freely and enthusiastically agree to the terms of the relationship.

Explicit Agreements and Boundaries: Open relationships thrive on clarity. Couples establish rules and boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable, such as the type of connections allowed, how often they can occur, and how they are communicated.

Open Communication and Honesty: Regular, open, and honest conversations are essential. Partners must be willing to discuss their feelings, needs, and concerns.

Open Relationship vs Polyamory vs Swinging

These broad terms can overlap. See the APA-hosted CNM fact sheet for common patterns:

Open relationships often allow other sexual partners within an ongoing romantic partnership. Individual agreements differ.

Swinging often involves partners seeking other sexual experiences together. The label does not establish everyone’s motivations or feelings.

Polyamory generally involves multiple consensual romantic or intimate relationships, without requiring one fixed hierarchy.

Understanding these differences can help foster greater awareness and respect for diverse relationship styles.

The Rules of an Open Relationship

One of the most important aspects of a successful open relationship is setting clear boundaries and expectations. This ensures both partners remain on the same page and helps nurture trust and security.

Here are foundational rules many open couples follow:

Define what’s “open”: Be definitive about what is and isn’t allowed. Are emotional attachments okay? Or is it strictly physical?

Communicate openly and often: Regular check-ins help address feelings, concerns, or any unexpected challenges.

Agree on safe practices: If there are physical relationships involved, set rules for protection and health, such as STI testing.

Keep each other informed: Some couples prefer transparency and discuss other connections openly, while others agree to keep minimal details. Choose what works best for you.

Reevaluate as needed: Relationships evolve, and so will your feelings about your arrangement. Periodically revisit the terms to ensure they’re still working.

Open Relationship Meaning: Is It What You Think?

If your partner has brought up the idea of an open relationship, or if you’re considering it yourself, understanding what this dynamic means is essential. Open relationships are about creating agreements that work for both partners, ensuring trust and communication remain strong.

Discuss expectations, trust, and boundaries without pressuring anyone to agree. If you want professional support, review the current Empathy Health Clinic team and ask about experience relevant to your concerns.

As you think about this, it’s helpful to clarify your own motivations and boundaries. Open relationships can be a healthy choice for some, but only if both people are on the same page and have a clear understanding of what’s allowed and what isn’t.

This conversation is a great starting point for exploring whether an open relationship is right for you and your partner. Remember, every relationship is unique, and what matters most is creating a relationship that feels right for both of you.

The Growing Interest in Open Relationships

A YouGov report published in April 2021 surveyed 23,194 U.S. adults: 25% expressed interest in an open relationship. The figures were 32% for men and 19% for women overall, not specifically singles; among married respondents, 30% of husbands and 21% of wives expressed interest.

The same 2021 report listed interest at 41% among Millennials, 29% among Gen Z, 23% among Gen X, and 12% among Baby Boomers. These are historical survey results, not clinical recommendations.

Additional Profiles data in that report gave 46% for respondents identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or other, versus 22% for heterosexual respondents. Interest is not participation, and group averages do not determine anyone’s preferences.

Are Open Relationships Healthy for Couples?

A 2018 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported differences by relationship type. Its open-relationship subgroup reported sexual satisfaction similar to the monogamous group. Those averages do not show that changing your relationship structure would improve its health or satisfaction.

Check whether everyone understands the agreement, feels free to disagree, and has space to discuss changing needs.

Here are some potential benefits of open relationships:

Increased Autonomy and Freedom: Open relationships can allow individuals to explore their desires and needs without feeling constrained by traditional monogamous expectations. This can lead to a greater sense of personal freedom and autonomy.

Enhanced Communication and Honesty: Because open relationships require constant negotiation and transparency, couples often find their communication skills improve significantly. They learn to express their needs and feelings more openly and honestly.

Exploration of Diverse Sexual and Emotional Connections: Open relationships can provide opportunities to explore diverse sexual and emotional connections, enriching the individual's experiences and perspectives.

Meeting Individual Needs and Desires: When partners have differing needs or desires, an open relationship can provide a framework for meeting those needs without compromising the primary relationship.

Increased Self-Awareness and Personal Growth: Navigating the complexities of an open relationship can lead to increased self-awareness and personal growth. Individuals may gain a deeper understanding of their own needs, boundaries, and emotional responses.

No relationship structure guarantees that existing problems will be resolved. Discuss concerns directly, and do not agree to a change because you feel pressured to save the relationship.

Is an Open Relationship Right for You?

Consensual non-monogamy is a broad category that includes open relationships, polyamory, and swinging. Labels may overlap; clear agreements and voluntary consent matter more than assigning a rigid category.

Now, let's get to the steps to help you determine if an open relationship is right for you. Remember, there's no one right way to do relationships.

Step 1: Ask Questions to Understand Your Partner's "Why"

Ask what your partner hopes for and share your own needs. There is no required number of reasons. A relationship preference does not by itself establish fear of commitment, trauma, or another underlying problem.

Discuss any existing interests or commitments honestly, including whether an agreement has been broken. Interest in someone else does not remove anyone’s right to decline a proposed change.

Ask what each person hopes would change and what concerns remain. Listen without assuming you know the other person’s motives, and allow time to consider the conversation.

Step 2: Ask Questions to Gain Clarity

Take the conversation deeper by exploring the details. Ask your partner what their ideal scenario looks like.

Would they prefer using apps, hookup sites, or meeting people at bars?
How frequently would they like this to happen?
Is there a specific person in mind?
Would this be a one-time experience or something ongoing?

Be sure to discuss essential topics like boundaries, protection, sexual history, and how this dynamic might affect your intimacy. Decide whether this aspect of your relationship will remain private or be shared publicly. If you have children, consider how they could be impacted.

These detailed conversations are crucial, as many people haven’t fully thought through the specifics. Taking the time to clarify ensures mutual understanding and alignment.

Step 3: Ask Questions to Understand Your Own "Why" and Wants

What are your thoughts and feelings about an open relationship? How will you feel if your partner is out on a date with someone else? How open do you want them to be with you about it?

Consider the practical aspects, such as finances and time spent with other people. How do you feel about having sex with others? Are you motivated by revenge or genuine interest?

Step 4: Have an Open Dialogue

With all the information gathered, have an open conversation. This isn’t about arguing but sharing your thoughts and feelings. Discuss what you've learned about yourselves and each other. We recommend you have an open relationship boundaries list to guide the discussion.

Sample Boundaries List:

These are topics to discuss, not rules for every relationship:

Agree on sexual-health precautions and ask a healthcare professional about testing or prevention questions.
Decide what updates to share while respecting everyone’s privacy.
Discuss whether overnight stays fit your agreements.
Talk about boundaries involving friends or coworkers.
Agree on how shared spaces may be used.
Choose check-in times and a way to raise concerns between them.

Step 5: Make Your Own Decision First

Before making a joint decision, take time for soul-searching. Is an open relationship right for you? Come to a decision on your own, then have your final conversation with your partner.

(Final Considerations)

You can decline a change for any reason. Pay attention to pressure, coercion, or difficulty respecting boundaries without assuming a diagnosis. Our article on relationship behavior and boundaries discusses related concerns; a behavior label is not a clinical assessment.

Even with trust and good communication, you can choose not to change your relationship. Any agreement should be freely chosen and open to discussion as needs change.

Assessing Your Readiness for an Open Relationship

Note: This is not an official assessment but a guide to help you reflect and explore your feelings about open relationships.

Deciding whether an open relationship is right for you and your partner requires careful consideration and honest self-reflection. It's not a decision to be taken lightly, and it's essential to assess your readiness before taking the plunge.

Here's a self-assessment guide to help you evaluate your preparedness:

Are you and your partner aligned in your desires? Open relationships require complete alignment. Discuss your motivations, expectations, and concerns openly and honestly.

Do you have strong communication skills? Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful open relationship. Can you express your needs and feelings clearly and respectfully?

How would you discuss feelings such as jealousy? Consider what support and boundaries you would need without treating one emotion as a prediction that a relationship will fail.

Are you comfortable with ongoing negotiation and adjustment? Open relationships require constant communication and flexibility. Are you and your partner willing to adapt and adjust your agreements as needed?

Are you ready to be honest about your feelings? Honesty and transparency are crucial. Are you prepared to share your thoughts and feelings, even when they are difficult?

If you are considering a change, these are options to discuss, not requirements:

Consider individual or couples therapy if you want support discussing concerns. A relationship preference alone does not mean you need treatment.

Engage in open and honest discussions with your partner: Discuss your expectations, boundaries, and concerns thoroughly.

Set clear boundaries and agreements: Establish specific rules and guidelines to ensure that all partners feel safe and respected.

Ask About Relevant Therapy Experience: If you want help with intimacy or relationship concerns, ask about the provider’s training, approach, and current services. A preference for consensual non-monogamy should not automatically be treated as a problem to correct.

To further aid in your reflection, consider this checklist:

Do you and your partner share similar values regarding relationships?

Are you both comfortable with the idea of your partner having other romantic or sexual connections?

Can you commit to regular check-ins and open communication?

Are you prepared to address challenges like jealousy and insecurity?

You can discuss jealousy, uncertainty, or discomfort without judging yourself or your partner. Ask for time or support when needed, and revisit whether the agreement still works for everyone.

Making Informed Decisions About Open Relationships

Open relationships aren’t for everyone, but for those who approach them with intention, communication, and honesty, they can be incredibly rewarding. They allow for exploration, personal growth, and redefining what love and connection mean.

If you are considering an open relationship, take the time to research, reflect, and discuss your decision thoroughly with your partner. It’s also helpful to educate yourself—Nonmonogamy books like "The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton" or "Opening Up by Tristan Taormino" offer excellent insights and tools.

Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, and what works for one couple may not work for another.

If you are struggling to make a decision, seek professional guidance. A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your concerns and develop strategies for success.

Explore support options with Empathy Health Clinic and ask which services and providers fit your concerns.

Couples Therapy for Open Relationships in Orlando, FL

If you would like professional support, Empathy Health Clinic in Winter Park, FL, offers therapy for adults ages 18 and older. Ask about provider fit and experience with your relationship concerns.

When requesting care, describe the concerns you would like help with, such as:

Considering opening their relationship and want guidance on healthy boundaries

Already in an open relationship and navigating challenges like jealousy or communication breakdowns

Processing feelings after a partner suggests non-monogamy

Exploring how past trauma or attachment styles affect relationship dynamics

Our Approach:

Couples counseling: ask about the provider’s approach, training, and fit for your goals

Individual therapy for partners processing complex emotions

LGBTQ+-affirming care that respects individual goals without assuming relationship preferences

Both in-person and virtual sessions available throughout Florida

Confirm current plan and provider participation for BCBS, Aetna, Cigna, or UnitedHealthcare and ask about costs for the specific service. Accepting a plan does not automatically mean couples counseling is covered

Whether you choose to open your relationship or not, having these conversations with a skilled therapist can deepen your understanding of each other. Schedule an appointment or call (386) 848-8751.

What Is an Open Relationship: Is It For You?